Experiencing trauma is surprisingly common, and is the umbrella to a variety of abuse, violence and loss. Our pastoral care team sees the aftermath of trauma in the lives of many people looking for help in navigating their current painful situations.
So more than a year ago, pastoral care began exploring how our church could respond to the 15,000+ people in our congregation who have been harmed by experiencing some form of trauma in their lives. We asked over and over again throughout the process, “What is the best thing the church can do to address this reality?” “Is there a specific play for us to make, that isn’t already being done well by local therapists?”
Charged with leading the task for our department, I asked educators, therapists, theologians, psychologists, and all said they weren’t sure…that no church is really addressing this large scope reality well…that something new was needed. This scared me at first, but I began to hear God whisper that He wanted to use the church–our church–to reflect His character and heart toward those affected by trauma. And the vision for a class on trauma began to unfold.
We launched the pilot class, “When Harm Happens: Understanding the Impact of Trauma in our Lives,” in October with room for 80. More than 110 signed up, which affirms our sense that we are just touching the tip of the iceberg—that the scars of trauma present a spiritual and relational barrier for perhaps hundreds of people in our congregation and beyond.
The verse that has been pivotal for me in this journey has been Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” I truly believe that the class came to be because God wants to give people at Willow permission to be real with how we feel. How crushed we are…whether directly or indirectly because of the experience of someone we love. That….
“It’s okay at our church for you to feel angry at God.”
“It’s okay if you have trouble seeing God as your safe, loving Father because your father was nothing of the sort.”
“It’s okay to not have it all together–and to ask for help.”
I feel God connected me with two expert trauma counselors from Willow: Scott Gibson, LCSW, and Tovah Means, LMFT, and together we launched the class. We purposefully chose a class format rather than a more intimate workshop or support group setting, so the class would be a safe first step for people wanting to explore the personal nature of trauma in their lives–and to increase the likelihood that people would sign up. Using teaching and video story-telling from four Willow Creek staff and members who have experienced significant trauma, we asked three questions over the course of three weeks:
“What is normal?”
“Why do I do what I do?”
“What is next for me?”
We said, “If your traumatic experience is significant to you, then it is worth pursuing healing from it, and you are welcome here.” The reality is we all have a choice to either numb/avoid our pain (even with “good things” like working too much) or to dive into it headfirst and process it in the safety of a relationship with God and perhaps a qualified counselor. In the end, we invited everyone to choose to the latter.
The highlight of the three-week experience was by far the four video stories of Willow faces who honestly portrayed the pain of reprocessing past harm—and the incredible fruit that comes from addressing that harm. Initial feedback from the class has been an overwhelming, with participants expressing a deep sense of gratitude that our church would be willing to talk openly about what is typically a high-shame topic. We hope to offer the class again next year with an even more robust path to our recovery ministry as part of our next steps.
-Chrissie Steyn